the devil sold his soul to me is a story that takes place now and in the past
and develops as time goes by.

And its written in Dutch German French and English

I am here for the grand finale of life.

“Hey” Just look at that guy sitting there.


Just look at him dude, just left his young wife and two children because she had cheated on him.
It seems as if he is walking right off a Schlager festival, with his striking blouses, waistcoat, a curly hair and a mustache on his lip.
He starts a small masonry business, drives a BMW and thinks that the whole world belongs to him.
And always partying, expensive food and going out, and hanging out in pubs.
A Young boy what a show-off in his long trousers, blouses and gold jewelry.
Then look at those ridiculously large gold earrings in his ears, he now looks like a pirate.

Just look again, all kind off new things and a different appearance.
Now he thinks he's Tony Montana or something like that.
Just look with who he hangs out with, hey wait a minute, I know them from somewhere, don't you?
Just look at him, he parks his car in front of the door behind a red white ribbon, and does not even have to stand in line at that nightclub, the bouncers just let him in through the VIP door.
Just look at him sitting at that table, among all those big dangerous men.
It seems he knows them all, bouncers and club owners many bars and discos.


Collection agencies and construction companies, and all rogue car companies you can imagine.
Just look at him sitting among those whores pimps, dealers, murderers, dancers and bodybuilders.
Just look at him sitting there among the high tax officials and bankers, talking to build a few garden walls of their houses, or extend their house with an extension, or making secret rooms.
And now he is again negotiating with lawyers and traders in empty companies via tax havens at the bar.


Just look at him sitting among all those big men from all different levels and professions of society.
Just watch him sit for work or trade, or just for fun.
A young man with a small masonry company for work in the normal world, and all other contacts in what is called the underworld.
Look at him sitting there in that pub of that village with about seventeen thousand inhabitants.
Of course everyone in the area knows which family he comes from, and what he is up to.
Look at him there, no one hurts him, not even all the so-called big men from the village and the surrounding area.


Just look at him dude, that little criminal in that village surrounded by all the big cities in South Holland.
Look at him sitting there, all by himself among all those special and scary stories that no one hears.
Just look at him, that bastard who doesn't even look after his children, and is only partying all over the country and Belgium.
Look at him sitting arrogantly there at the bar, just released by the police for one of the so many violent crimes against all those defaulters that didn’t want to pay.
Look at him sitting there in that nightclub in Amsterdam where his buddies and he paid the 


bouncers, to beat the people who wanted to deal in their club, rob them and kicked out the club.
Just watch him sit there at the bar, laughing very loudly at a crook who tries to threaten and scare him with a gun against his back.
To drink a beer at the bar with the same crook after finishing laughing about him.
Just look at him there in that disco where he stands between the bodybuilder boyfriend of his ex wife and his friends and asks, do you have me on a list?
Because if so, we'll solve that right now and here.
Just watch him walk with that steel pipe in his coat and go to visit someone, because he has threatened his mate because he is up his alley.


And he will explain that his buddy doesn't trespass  anyone, and asks if there where any further problems.
Just look at him sitting in the restaurant where his older brother works as a chef, and his brother still has twenty thousand guilders in overtime payment from last year and his boss does not want to pay him.
But that his older brother could then still choose whether after an hour twenty thousand guilders in his pocket and look for a new job, or he finished his coffee and left.
He finished his coffee and left.
His older brother had to look for a new job not long after anyway.


It's a shame about the twenty thousand guilders, and maybe that's why I just have to drive back one more time and charge extra interest.
Just look at him after he has confiscated a car from a large client because he has not wanted to pay for months.
And he visited him at his home instead of at the office.
To have that client drive to the bank with his mate to collect the money, which strangely enough is suddenly possible.
Just look at him sitting in his car with binoculars posting on an industrial site, to describe buildings, times and people who come and go there.


And sometimes that posting took days or weeks.
Then look at him talking to a big crook who says that he still has an old receipt from him from his bankrupt bar.
And he just laughs at that boss after he calls him the wrong amount, without showing the receipt.
Hahaha he laughs at him and says, if your amount is the same as what I have in mind then I will pay you, and I will help you and give you a small hint.
You are more than two hundred guilders too high big horse cock, fuck off with your receipt.
And do you know what to do with that receipt when you find it, he calls to the bar owner.


Well what? the bar owner calls back, just roll it up and put it in a spot where the sun doesn't shine, motherfucker.

Look at him sitting there, Just look at that bastard sitting there.

In the Nineties South Holland.
introduction of a stranger. 


It is dark and it rains softly when I am still half drunk and coked up with a thick joint between my fingers walking through the wet grass.
After a deep inhale on my blunt, I fill my lungs with smoke and let my longs impregnate with tar-filled THC so that I feel a bit more relaxed.
My feet are wet and I am very moody and depressed and the alcohol and coke didn't really help me with that.
My direction forces me to jump over a ditch, so that I reach a path and do not have to walk all the way back trough that fucking wet grass again.
What the fuck am I walking here, how the hell did I end up here.
In the distance is a big tree, and because I'm getting tired of that shitty rain, I decided to sit there for a while.
A big cloud of smoke leaves my lungs when I sit down and sighs as my body starts to protest softly after a long weekend of dealing, partying and using drugs.
While I refill my lungs I see in the distance a dark figure walking in my direction through the moonlight.
Thoughts and memories flash through my mind, have i been followed all the time and have not noticed it.


No… .. oh fuck it, I’m tired and I can’t anymore. I light my blunt again and inhale. The smoke clears, and in front of me stands a figure with a large cowboy hat and heavy dark raincoat reaching to the ground. I can’t help but pursing my lips and whistling that famous western tune, and just wait for him to pull his holster. Can I sit next to you, he asks, I nod and offer him my blunt while he sits down.

No thanks that stuff is made by my father, I’m allergic to it, all that chemistry that now flows through your veins, is a creation of me.

More for me I say and inhale.

Do you not recognize me asks the stranger who I cannot properly assess but feels somewhat familiar. “No” from some party, or are you a brother of, I ask back. I have been informed about you since you were little, says the stranger. Now you are starting to sound a little scary friend I say more seriously to the stranger so that he could hear my sarcasm well.



If I wanted you dead, we wouldn’t have been chatting here my freind.

I offer him my blunt again.

He smiles…..

he asks do you know why i’m here, and i say yes. You have nothing to offer me because I already have nothing to lose anymore because everything is already lost. I am up to my throat in drugs and violence, and don’t mind dying because then my time is up. Don’t you want to become the biggest, richest and most powerful in the world that you have now entered. I laugh and say for my soul, you will get those from my father and mother for free, and I will not be not getting any wiser of it. My family would sell mine to you for a second hand car if they were sitting here with you under this tree. His smile is bigger than before, points to me and says “you are even more insane than I thought”. Coughing and spitting, I laugh and give him a push to the left.

Asshole I spit.


We bet I can seduce you, he whispered after I recovered from laughter. For what, do you know everything I ask him. Yes, and no question or wish is too crazy. For everything, the rest of my family and mine. Ok, but only if you know what I want, I said to the stranger. Laughing loudly he turned to me and wanted to start. Wait a minute, can I ask you something else in between while we’re at it. Jesus christ curses the stranger and sighs okay one question then because it is you. Ok thanks I say and ask, “what a deal do you have with my uncle jan” man. He smiles and says that between uncle jan and me my friend and his eyes glow. We will continue he said and looked at me, tell me what do you want to know. The truth I want you to tell me the truth. Well you get it when you win the bet and when I win, you and all your family members lose everything. Yes I answer the stranger, if you know what I want from you, you can have everything, do you know what I want? He looks at me and doesn’t see anything, and it seems like he looks kind of surprised. I admit he says I don’t know.


I want your soul for a while, I answer him and blow my lungs empty again. He smiles and says why would you think I have a soul, and if you can have it. Have I won I ask the stranger as I role a new blunt. Yes, fair is fair I light my blunt on fire inhale, blow my lungs empty and smell a light sulfur aroma around me. I look around and see that the stranger has disappeared and the rain has stopped. I get up and start walking again when I suddenly hear a squeak coming from my pocket.

My mobile is back on line and I can call a taxi if I know where the hell I am. It is 1995, I am 25 years old and want to go to my bed.

Discover the world, but after tomorrow.

Your fine here

The Lobbyist.


Where is he now I mumble, and look at my Breitling and see that he’s been making me wait for more than half an hour. Bastard I think when I light another cigarette and squeeze the empty packet into a wad. I have an appointment with the councilor of the council and this is a big thing that I must not screw up. It is already 10:30 pm and I really have to leave because I really can’t miss that appointment. And I feel a little bit trapped in a bad movie because of some of the decisions I’ve made. The heavy curtain in front of the door is pushed aside and see that my dealer has just entered the bar, and he is looking around to see if he can find me. We make eye contact and he comes to the back of the bar where I sit at a table in a niche. He was quite convinced that I had to wait for him when I called him for an order. And this time it is not only mine but someone else. I would never order that much for myself and of course he knows that. His look is angry when he sits next to me instead of opposite me.


“Hey” I stutter a bit unhappy because I can’t look at him completely. Hmm, I hear next to me, than to be told that he should keep an eye on the door while he wanted to talk to me. Who is the big order for, he says while he looks to me with 2 big angry blue eyes. Euh euh I stutter again, euh I have the money with me. That’s not the point because I’m still getting 3 thousand more from you, and if I thought you didn’t have any money with you now, I wouldn’t be here. No no I say to my dealer, that 3 thousand I also have with me. I know that he growled, who is it for. Uh uh I can’t really say that dude, I know you understand that, I try to convince him. I feel a chill through my spine as he slowly turns and pushes a hand against my throat and begins to squeeze. “Who is it for?” He growls between his tightly pressed jaws. I start to panic slightly and feel him squeeze so hard that my arteries on either side of my neck are no longer getting a supply of blood.


Okay okay okay I sputter out and get a little air again, okay okay. Last time who is it he snarls, the alderman I sigh, the alderman. My head is on my knees, he’s 1.85 and almost 100kg and full of the steroids, and he’s still getting money from me. He pushes a bag into my side, and I take the envelope of money from my inside pocket. Thanks I whisper as he gets up to walk away. He turns around and I see that his face is completely different now. With a big grin he says “have a nice evening friend” and winks at me when he leaves the bar. Jesus a totally different guy, strange. If I don’t want to be late, I have to hurry up and empty my glass. I put the bag in my deed bag and hurry to the hotel where I have my appointment with the councilor. This is my chance to advance in my work as a lobbyist. After this I can go to The Hague for the real big money, and from there to Brussels. If I can arrange this assignment for that contractor through the councilor, I will go nationwide.


I step into the elevator and press the button for the hotel’s penthouse suite. I hear the bell of the elevator when it stops on the 8th floor, and look startled when the doors slide open. 4 scantily clad women walk into the elevator talking, as I press myself into the corner of the elevator. I feel like I’ve seen them before I think as the elevator continues its way to the penthouse. On that party off ? The bell rings and the doors slide open on the last floor. That party where my dealer was also with those guys from the Hague and pole dancers and whores. Shit it seems like that guy is everywhere. The door of the penthouse is open and all 5 of us walk in the room where there is a lot of talking. The women spread out among the different guests, and I see if I can find the councilor. Excessive laughter from the kitchen catches my attention. And before I can go there, a hand on my shoulder stops me. There you are finally I hear from behind me, and the reason why I am here is immediately clear again.


Alderman I say and turn around with the biggest smile, Alderman how are you. Well well you have it with you, you have it with you he repeats nervous and sweaty. Yes yes calm down I got it and put it the rest of the bag after I got my share out. Here it is, I put it in your pocket, and I press against his side. Nice and beautiful man, then we’ll talk about the papers later, I just have to meet a few people. He turns to a group of people where 2 of the previous women who were in the elevator with me also standing. Like a child is so happy with his hands up, the young Alderman walks to the group, and pulls 1 of the women by her arm to a room at the back of the penthouse. The woman looks at a giant of a guy, and he gives a nod of approval, after which she giggles along with the Councilor. I suddenly think this guy is, fuck i remember…. That’s the pimp who shot his girlfriend and mother-in-law, and is now free again. I look around and see at the dining table the large contractor, his son and a well-known LCC construction consultant.


If tonight succeeds, if tonight succeeds then everything will be fine I think and walk towards the big table. Heeey calls the local contractor’s son, heeey there we have the star lobbyist of the region. Well arranged man well arranged, and that’s why we have a surprise for you in that little room there. And he points to the room where the alderman just entered. In the Alderman’s room I say surprised, no superstar in the next room. Not a whor…. and i stop saying the name off her job a whore. I just got married man, I stutter at everyone at the big table. What happens here stays here, we are all adults anyway, the contractor says without looking at me. A big hand on my shoulder forces me to turn around. It is that giant who nodded to that woman, shit I forgot his name is running through my mind. Go on boy I’ve heard from… and he whispered my dealer’s name in my ear. I have heard that you are going to be the new wonder boy in The Hague.


Well now I try to sputter, and feel his hand pushing me towards the room. A bit forced and with a slight panic I slowly go towards the room and look again when I get to the door. The whole room looks at me and cheers as I open the door and get ready to go in. It is very dark when I am inside and I have trouble adjusting my eyes when I hear a voice from my left whispering. “come here young man” My legs touch the iron edge of the bed and I feel a warm hand take mine. It is 1997 a city near the coast in South Holland.

Spanish war


It is warm when I take a large bite of my frikandelmayo sandwich on the terrace of a Dutch person with a snack bar in the South of France. You would think that if you live in the beautiful south of France you would rather enjoy all those delicious dishes they serve here. Well, I can tell you that when I’ve lost 2 and a half pounds of the stress and nonsense that I’m causing and having in my head. A nice greasy bite of a Dutch snack is a good recommendation to keep plodding around a bit full and satisfied. I am tired and have not slept very well in the last few weeks. My head full of shit and unresolved trauma and fantasie cravings, that’s not crossed off my Greg list just yet. Angry at everything and everyone and the whole world. Just like I used to when I was about 16 or 17 years old. But mainly because I am angry with myself for not being able to control my impulses properly at the moment.


Angry at everything and everyone, and the whole world. Just like I used to when I was about 16 or 17 years old. But mainly because I am angry with myself for not being able to control my impulses properly at the moment. After a sip of my beer and a bite of my sandwich, I see out of the corner of my eye a car in the street trying to park. I sit with my back to the snack bar because my mood makes me not really waiting for a conversation with the owner. The window of the is open and I hear the woman sitting in the co-driver’s seat yelling and swearing at the man. It seems to be Spanish when I hear it. And that is not strange, because everyone on the terrace seems to hear it. There is a thought of pity for the man behind the wheel, through my stuffed skull with polluted thoughts and bullshit. I sit at an angle so that I seem to be looking elsewhere while I eat my food. The woman shouts and still yells at the man who regularly gets out and back in the car. Shit, I think, what a hell of a holiday. Car out and he eats a sandwich, in the car and there she goes screaming again. Jezus, I come herr to eat in rest, which is illogical because it looks a bit like Noordwijk aan zee in Holland, but busier and warmer and more tourists.


Anyway, my food is tasty and I enjoy mySpanish soap slightly irritated when I see the woman suddenly looking at me. Shouting is at the pathetic looking man next to her in the car. How do I know you would ask? Well if you are eating quietly and someone yells at someone else and points exactly in your direction. Then there is a good chance that it might be about you if the man suddenly looks at you and starts pointing. I am 48, I feel like shit and am 25 kg lighter than I was in my so-called glory days. My beard is long and white and I have my cap and sunglasses on. An old fuck saggy with a bag full of bones like body and face full of life’s grooves. My head is full of shit and guilt and I don’t know what I’m doing anymore. I don’t understand Spanish but I see very clearly That their frustrations are now directed against me. At this point their anger is evident as both are screaming and pointing at me and giving me the finger.


The owner and his wife ask what’s going on after I give the Spanish fighters 2 fingers back, and shout one for your mother too. After I briefly explained the story, they drive away screaming and swearing in their small gray car with license plate from Spain. After my dinner and smoke I pay to the wife of the owner and walk slightly irritated past other restaurants back to my car. At the pedestrian crossing that leads to the parking lot, I see the very passionate Spanish couple walking towards me. And then something happens in my head while I know it’s better not to, and still can choose from various options. To the outcome of this upcoming confrontation. My past experience in a different milieu left me with a few traits that can be seen as both annoying and lifesaving. So everything is calculated as well as it could possibly be. But of course that says nothing at all because things can always go differently than expected. Shouting at her boyfriend, the Spanish couple both suddenly see an old man with a long white beard wearing glasses and cap, and with a big


grin on his face shouting at them in English “so lets see if you 2 fuckers still have such a big mouth hey ”. I enjoy seeing their wide-eyed and amazed faces. I am not short and I stand very quick before them before they realize what is happening. The Spaniard is about the same size as I am and shoots from behind the woman to hit me. Since the woman is halfway between us, it’s harder to defend me from the man’s blow because I don’t want to touch her. Before the blow of the man hits me, my palm pounds hard on his chest, pushing the man hard out of his shoes into the bush. Hanging half off balance to the right, I hold the man with my right arm on the ground and shout that he better lie still in English. His hellfire burning Spanish woman hangs half over me and screams in my ear half Spanish English “touch me motherfucker then i call the police”. I’ve never hit women before, and I never will. But she ooh, i realy do my best to hold back. I have my glasses in my left hand and still press the man on the floor with my right, when I look


into the woman’s eyes and say “hey puta I won’t touch you, but i will fucking hurt your man”. He makes himself smaller and she steps back a little bit and spits right in my face, screaming “touch me touch me motherfucker touch me then i call the police motherfucker”. Finally I let go of him and try to walk to my car. He stays at a safe distance and tryes to takes pictures, as she screams and spits at me again with touch me touch me i call the police scene. It seems like I’m the one who got caught up in a bad fucking movie somewhere and this is their source of income, challenging older foreigners and then threatening with the police. Me with my good ideas en bullshit. Another squat of spit in my face. God damn it shoots in my head and as I wipe the drool from my face. Puta piss-of before I crush your man, i get in my car and drive away. She is still tries kicking the car and he hey he, he might not bother old fucks anymore.

He’s having it hard enough already with that bitch.

And me, fuck I couldn’t resist again.

Read the Jogger

The Jogger.


It’s a bright an sunny day, and I’m on a mission today. After a little warm-up of stretching, I tuck my tail into my jogging pants, and slowly start running towards my destination. The birds are chirping and the butterflies are happily whirling around. It is wonderful to start the day along the water in the sun with a little bit of exercise. After the bridge to the right i past the small shipyard of the village. And when I run past the small harbor I stop at the restaurant behind the kitchen to see that 2 teenagers are fishing there. You have caught some fish boys, I ask, when they turn their heads towards me in shock. I see the larger of the 2 throwing a packet of tobacco into the bushes. I see a little panic arise in their eyes, and teasingly ask if they have a fire for me. Euh no no we don’t smoke mister, we just sit here fishing. I know who they are and I ask them about their little brother.


They look at each other and shout tough, who are you dude. I smile and say goodbye and wish them a good catch and continue my jogging route. I start a sprint when I run along the meadows with just released cows. Those cows love to be allowed straight out of the barn into the meadows. The end of the path is approaching and I have adjusted the pace a bit to be able to cross the busy road. When I look to the other side on the middle verge, I see, while I am hopping to keep moving, a few children handing out something to each other. I am almost at my destination and see that I can cross. I slowly start to cross so that a few cyclists can continue, and I can continue my route. I jump over the fence that ensures that the street where I need to be is a dead end. I squeeze between the double-parked cars that have been parked against the fence. The children playing in the distance begin to behave and move strangely. I don’t see any adults and I’m going full speed towards the group of children.


Some start to scream and others walk towards a door of a house, I run and pull my fastest sprint. Only 1 boy of the group of children is still on the sidewalk, when I have arrived exactly at my destination. Coughing and with his hands to his throat, the little boy shakes his body anxiously. He gurgles for air, he is choking. No one around, and I grab him by his tiny little ankles. That little guy hangs upside down in the air with an almost blue face. I give him a good punch on the back and shake him well, when eventually a large black licorice the size of a big coin shoots out of his throat. Aaaaaah the kid gasps for air again and starts crying. His normal color returns, and with the crying he gets enough air again. After all the commotion has disappeared, I see a woman in the corner of my eye walking in my direction with waving arms. You bastard what are you doing there with my son she yells at me.

look into my eyes


A man who has just walked up shouts to that woman that I just saved her son from suffocation. Mother fucker mind your own business, fuck off. The woman continues to scream angrily as she pulls hard on the little boy’s arm. Swearing and screaming, she drags him on, and it looks like she’s angry at him for surviving. Stuppid pussy kid always something going on with you, you are just misery, she yells

No kid not today, not today, hold ona little longer.

It’s still to early I whisper.

It is summer 1976 in a village in the south Holland.

you want to Follow me

Underground Blues.


A heavy cloud of smoke hangs in the bar and the gitarrist of the band is just playing his solo, when i just emptied my glass. I nod in the direction of Pier the bartender, and he pours me some more whisky. “leave that botle” i growl at Pier, and he knows just how what time it is. It’s very late and everything happens in the dark and secrecy on places where technic doesn’t penetrate the walls. We don’t have to be afraid of noise disturbance, because the bar is situated in the dungeons of the old village center. And in this bar you see only the scum, black sheeps, musicians and artists, or a wealthy tourist who is then robbed and programmed to be a revolutionary and sent back. The last excluded scum of society or revolutioner who can still walk around secretly freely in the night after the new curfew laws. And that is something totally different in the big cities. The band plays “walk a mile in my shoes” and I roll myself a new blunt. I feel a hand sliding over my shoulders, and a shiver runs through my spine. I empty my lungs and take another sip of my whisky. A familiar scent has entered my nose, and the corners of my mouth are slowly rising into a smile.


hey sexy i whisper to the person who slides on the left side of the bar next to me. Hey sexy i hear whisper in my ear. A new shiver shoots through my whole body as my memories connect with the voice thats whispers to me. I finish my glass as i turn to empty my hands for a warm and long embrace from a good friend. What the fuck are you doing here cunt, i say as i gently press her warm body against me. I couldn’t sleep, she says, and saw that you weren’t in your studio, so i thought you’d be here. God damn stupid you know how dangerous that is to get here. Yes i know but…… “whatever” i say to her and kiss her softly on her lips. You know that nowadays you can’t go anywhere normally without that special pass. Yes, i know, she whispers in my ear, and bites it softly. There you have that sexy one again, i smile and pull her body tight against mine. My hand slide gently over her back, pushing her into a better position, so she can feel my state of arousal. She looks at me with hunger in her eyes. I smile to her and say we have to go.

It’s 2023 the world has changed and is divided welkom George.

Look int my eyes

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